All I Ever Wanted
by xtheunforgotten
Summary: But when you see that person you love so much is happy with someone else; you lose strength and your hope fades away and you realize, there really is no such thing as a happy ever after. Alternate ending to 5x12. One-shot. Peyton centric.


_Here's my first ever one-shot._

_I hope you like it!_

_Enjoy!_

**-Please don't ever let this story affect how you're feeling and don't ever commit suicide, there's always an answer to every problem.-**

* * *

Maybe it's the way you felt when he said 'I do.'

Or maybe it's the way your heart crumbled after _she_ said the exact same words.

No, maybe it was the way you heard _your_ heart breaking after they have been announced as husband and wife.

When you love a person, you're supposed to try your best until there's nothing left to do, right?

Well you tried. Hell, you kept trying again and again, but nothing still changed but you have to wait; because that's what you do for love, right?

'Maybe it wasn't enough' you think. Your pain, enduring, loyalty, your love…It wasn't enough, how? He chose her over you; that proves it, right?

Maybe you were just a mistake. That's what he'd told your best friend before, right? Maybe he's trying to prove that he loved her more than you. Of course he is. He married _Lindsey_ and not you after all.

Sometimes, when you see the person you love the most; the one that you're meant to be with forever, all your worries and problems fade away and you gain strength, you find hope that there really is a happy ever after. But when you see that person you love so much is happy with someone else; you lose strength and your hope fades away and you realize, there really is no such thing as a happy ever after.

Then again, you try to be happy when he approaches you and asks you to dance with him one last time. Of course you agree, after all you're powerless in front of the one you love. Then he asked you if the food in the reception was nice and you tell him it is because even though it didn't you would still say what makes him happy, because seeing him smile made you somewhat happy too.

You congratulate him and he smiled, because he moved on and you should too, but you can't, ever. Then you kiss his cheek and let it linger there for a few seconds because you know this would be the last time you would do such a thing, after he notices you had tears flowing down your face he asks you what's wrong and you lie; you tell him it's happy tears, because they were meant to be happy tears, even though they weren't. You wipe away your tears and continue dancing with him and when the song ended, you smile once again and you tell him to be happy one last time and then you sit down and you watch the other people who are celebrating, because that's what they were meant to do, but you weren't.

You feel a tear slip down your cheek while watching his eyes twinkle when he's close to her and how natural his laugh is when he tells her something funny. You should be happy, but you can't. Because you love him even If he loves someone else.

It gets too hard to bear when you spot them kissing so you slip out of the ceremony and started walking. You didn't have a direction but that didn't matter now, did it?

You walk down the pavements at night, still in the dress you wore to his wedding because you didn't go home. You look up at the sky and you sigh, because the skies were crying with you.

You savor the feeling of the rain as you walk down the street; your silver heels at hands because you weren't used to wearing those, so you walk barefoot. Your whole body soaked from head to toe. You were crying with the rain, because it just so suddenly became your best friend.

You don't know what time it is, but you don't care. You're still walking in the rain, watching the streets get quieter as each second pass by. You didn't know where you were going, but you wish there's no end.

You smiled when you remembered that you didn't bring your phone because you knew that if you did, you would hear your best friend's panicked voice asking where you were.

Where were you? You still didn't know, but it seemed endless and you were quite happy, after all the rain, your best friend was still crying with you.

You didn't care if you looked like a crazy bitch walking down the streets, your make up smudged on your face because you were crying nonstop, your hair dripping wet, your whole body shivering from the cold; it didn't matter, because it was still raining and as long as it was, you will not care.

You looked at the bar in front of you—could have a drink but you won't. You wanted to taste the rain and if you drank, it would go away and you were scared if it did, because the rain was your best friend and you didn't want it to go away.

You never stopped walking because you knew that if you did, someone would find you and you didn't want anyone to find you. You let your tears fall again and again because you still love him, even though he already married someone else.

You immediately stop walking when your never ending path somehow magically ended. You spun around freely outside your house, because you knew that you would never get to do this again.

You stopped spinning when you fell on the ground, wetting yourself even more because of the puddle you were sitting on. You just laugh, not because you were happy or because it was funny, but because you were sad and there were no more emotions to portray how you feel, now that you've lost him.

You enter your house and you fake a smile as soon as you see your _real _best friend running towards you. She hugs you abruptly and tells you not to make her worried ever again and you frown, because you didn't mean to make her worried, so you hug her and you tell her five simple words. "I'm not worth crying for."

You tell your best friend to sleep because she didn't need to worry about you anymore, you knew why, but you weren't going to tell her, because you knew she would get worried and you didn't want that, ever.

You enter your bedroom and you throw your shoes on the floor and you immediately started rummaging through your drawers, looking for the sleeping pills you bought a long time ago that you used when you were stressed, when you were really sleepy but you couldn't sleep. But you weren't going to use it because you couldn't sleep; you were going to use it because you wanted to sleep, _forever_.

You didn't change because you didn't care. You were still wet and you were freezing but it still didn't matter. You sit down on your bed and open the bottle and you pour all the remaining pills on your left hand and you look at them with interest, because they too were your friends now.

You think back to what happened to your life these past few years and tears once again welled up on the side of your eyes because you suddenly remember him. You told him you'd let go. No, you promised, but you can't let him go, so you're doing this; because after all, you once told him that you always keep your promises. But you remind yourself that this was not for him because you didn't want him to blame himself later on, because it really wasn't for him. It was for you; you had to keep your promise and because you couldn't handle it anymore and the pain was too hard to bear.

You go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When you did; you immediately returned to your room and locked the door, because you didn't want your best friend to find you and you were scared someone was going to stop you, because they'll say it's wrong but it isn't for you, it's right because you wanted to sleep, and that's what you're going to do, but it was different this time. Once you close your eyes, you were never going to wake up and that's what you wanted, only that.

You put all the pills in your mouth and drank the water, and afterwards you kept the glass on the floor. You lie down in your bed; still in that dress but you didn't care.

You stopped caring once he'd said 'I do.'

You close your eyes and let sleep take over, because that's the only thing you wanted, to sleep _forever._

The world fades away, and that's when you know it's done.

You're finally sleeping peacefully, no nightmares, no dreams, just a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Everyone only gets one chance to live, and you know you've done everything.

'So here's to you,' You say, because you fulfilled your wish.

You deserve to be happy, you know that because they've told you.

And you will be, maybe.

Because you'll be watching over them, even if they didn't know that.

You know you'll be Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, their guardian angel, always.

You're finally letting go, and you're alright.

Because after all, Peyton Sawyer always keeps her promises.

* * *

_Tell me what you think._

_This one-shot just popped into my mind last night and I just had to write it._

_RnR pleaase. (:_

_**-Once again I am telling you, don't ever commit suicide and you should always know that there's someone out there willing to help you, don't ever give up.-**_

_xtheunforgotten._


End file.
